Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, isn’t just for toga-clad Greek and Roman thinkers. It’s a toolkit for navigating life’s chaos with clarity and grace. Think of it as the antidote to mindless reactivity and self-inflicted drama. Intrigued? Let’s break it down with some straightforward dos and don’ts to help you infuse Stoic wisdom into your daily life.
1. Do focus on what you can control
This might sound obvious, but how often do we waste energy on things beyond our grasp? The weather, other people’s opinions, or a delayed train—it’s all outside your control. Stoics, however, flipped this script. They believed power lies in how you respond. Your attitude, choices, and actions? That’s where your control shines. Obsessing over the uncontrollable only leads to frustration. Instead, channel that energy into owning your response. In the words of Marcus Aurelius, "You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
2. Don’t suppress emotion, but manage it
There’s a big misconception that Stoics are emotionless robots. They’re not. The key is moderation. Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you lash out. If you’re sad, it’s fine to grieve—but don’t let despair swallow you whole. Emotions are inevitable, but they don’t have to be your master. Pause, reflect, and steer your feelings with logic rather than letting them run wild like an untrained horse.
3. Do practise gratitude daily
This one’s underrated. There’s always something to appreciate, no matter how small. Woke up this morning? Be grateful for that breath, that heartbeat. Gratitude isn’t just about saying “thank you.” It’s a lens that reframes the world. Stoics saw it as armour against entitlement and resentment—two things that inflame unhappiness. Start small. Notice the things you’d miss if they vanished suddenly.
4. Don’t seek validation from others
Here’s a tough truth: you can’t please everyone. Stoics believed external praise is fickle and fleeting. You know what counts? Whether you’re living up to your own virtues. Chasing applause is a trap. Why let someone else’s fleeting opinion define your self-worth? Turn inward. Be your own toughest critic—and biggest cheerleader.
5. Do embrace discomfort
Life isn’t meant to be a cushy ride. Stoics deliberately leaned into challenges, whether it was fasting, cold showers, or sleeping on the floor. Extreme? Maybe. But the point wasn’t masochism. It’s about building resilience. When you voluntarily face discomfort, you’re better equipped for the curveballs life throws unexpectedly. Plus, it keeps you humbled. A little discomfort today could shield you from panic tomorrow.
6. Don’t dwell on the past or future
This one’s tricky because, let’s admit, time travel happens in our heads constantly. Replaying regrets? Fixating on what’s yet to come? Neither serves you. Stoics argued for anchoring yourself in the now because it’s the only moment you can act in. Planning is fine. Reflection is fine. But when you overindulge, you risk missing the very life unfolding in front of you.
You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength – Marcus Aurelius.
7. Do practise self-awareness
A crucial aspect of Stoicism is knowing yourself. It’s a simple idea, but not easy. How often do we act without questioning if our behaviour aligns with our values? Self-awareness takes work: regular reflection, journaling, or simply pausing to evaluate your choices. When you know what drives or distracts you, it’s like clearing fog on a windscreen.
8. Don’t blame others for your outcomes
Blame is an easy escape hatch. Didn’t get the job? It was the interviewer’s fault. Argument with your partner? They triggered me. While that might feel good in the moment, it strips you of agency. Stoicism teaches radical accountability. Own your actions and decisions, even when they lead to failure. If you control your response, you control your life. Simple as that.
Stoicism teaches radical accountability.
9. Do embody humility
Pride has a way of sneaking in, doesn’t it? Stoics valued humility—knowing your limits without underestimating your worth. They recognised there’s always something more to learn, always room to grow. Life has a way of humbling even the greatest. So don’t inflate yourself. Instead, let your actions speak louder than your words.
10. Don’t fear death
Let’s end on a heavy note because, well, Stoics didn’t shy away from the ultimate reality. Death isn’t pleasant to think about, but ignoring it doesn’t make it disappear. Instead, Stoics confronted it head-on. Not morbidly, but mindfully. They saw life’s brevity as an invitation to live fully and intentionally. After all, time is a limited currency—spend it wisely.
Wrapping it up
Stoicism isn’t about turning yourself into a cold, indifferent block of stone. It’s about finding clarity amidst chaos, cultivating virtue, and reclaiming your inner power. Start small—pick one or two ideas from this list, and experiment. Over time, these dos and don’ts could transform not just how you think but how you live.
Further reading
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
The ultimate Stoic handbook—personal reflections from a Roman emperor on resilience, self-discipline, and inner peace. - The Discourses and Selected Writings by Epictetus.
A practical guide to Stoicism, emphasizing self-mastery and focusing on what we can control. - Letters from a Stoic by Seneca.
A collection of letters offering wisdom on handling adversity, wealth, and daily struggles with a Stoic mindset. - How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life by Massimo Pigliucci.
A modern take on Stoicism, showing how its principles can be applied to everyday life in the 21st century. - The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.
A daily guide to Stoic wisdom, with bite-sized reflections to cultivate resilience and perspective throughout the year.
